So apparently Alabama is mourning no longer being the fattest state. They have not started jogging, or eating decent food—actually they haven’t lost any weight what so ever. But seven separate Midwestern states have been fattening up and have surpassed the fallen champions. The Rust Belt is celebrating by rebranding themselves as the Gut Belt, or possibly the Busted Belt.
PBS is running a series on fat people in the developed world. Fat people are still on the rise(as a figure of speech, most of them are actually sitting on the couch). A fat person costs the healthcare system 25% more than a healthy person during their lives, but the increased cost is negated by the fact that fat people live 8 to 10 years less on average. No joke. Also fat people in Sweden earn 18% less than average wages.
It seems that economists have joined the War on Fat People, suggesting that fat people should pay more for their airline tickets than their less gluttonous brethren. Healthy people might be saying, ‘that seems fair, if some fatty’s stomach is going to be taking up half my seat,’ but what they don’t understand is that in America we have the inalienable right to be fat and not pay the consequences(except for unsightliness, shortness of breath, diabetes, heart disease, etc.).
Next time some snooty foreigner tells you that there are too many fat people in America, tell them, ‘Oh, yeah? In Australia kids are so fat they’re getting their tonsils removed so that they can breathe.’ True story. Whatever you do, don’t you dare discriminate against people too fat to breathe by encouraging them to lose weight.
Schools in Miami Dade are serving children food with nutritional value and fat people are outraged. Apparently there is a National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (it has a rather LARGE membership). If their kids are healthy that will only make them feel fatter. Fight on fat people!
British scientists are considering dealing with hungry fat people the same as lost dogs: an implanted microchip. Sounds a lot easier than jogging if you ask me.
36.5 percent of kids in Tennessee are fat people. Decoded Science provides a picture of one of them.
So in the sky is blue vein of news, fat people have smelly breath
The war on fat people continues but they are holding their ground. Also, West Virginia has the highest percentage of fat people in the nation, Colorado the least. Start eating more of those Denver omelette. Extra side of bacon.
I have been greatly misinformed by pornography. Apparently 75 percent of lesbians are fat people. “Of course she’s a lesbian, run it.”